I'll Spill My Heart For You
by McAbbyGirl4Life
Summary: McGee contemplates the choices he's made and travels through the land of "What If"...until Abby interrupts his thinking. A bit of cuteness that's bound to make you smile.


**This little plot bunny was just SOOOO cute and SOOOO furry and SOOOO adorable that i just...i just couldn't resist! Inspired by the 200th episode :D Enjoy! They should make a T-shirt you know...instead of Enjoy Coca cola it should be Enjoy McAbby :D I'd get it... anyway, writing this at 1am! **

** Disclaimer: I do not own anything!**

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><p><em>We'll never fall apart<em>  
><em> Tell me why this hurts so much<em>

_Until the day I die_  
><em> I'll spill my heart for you, for you<em>  
><em> Until the day I die<em>  
><em> I'll spill my heart for you<em>

_Until the Day I Die, Story of the Year_

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><p>Returning a lost member to a family was probably one of the most rewarding aspects of his job. Seeing a wife's face light up with joy with the reunion of her husband…well, it was a priceless, sacred moment. A moment nearly always met with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. Yet while Tim watched the results him and his team's labor pay off as the woman clung to her husband with elation, a jab of nostalgia pricked his heart. Here he was, observing the reparation of a family while his own heart was caving in on itself. It put a bit of a damper on the Kodak moment.<p>

Soon after the couple left Gibbs disappeared, and the rest of the team prepared to depart their successful day.

"Ziva, McGoo! Celebration drinks are in order, lets go!" Tony announced, slapping Tim good-naturedly on the back.

"One drink, Tony. That is it." Ziva succumbed firmly.

"Eh, not tonight Tony. I still have a few things I want to finish up," Tim replied insipidly, taking a seat at his desk.

"Well that was vague, probie. We've been working 48 straight hours on case. I think you're entitled to a couple drinks ya know," Tony argued, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Just don't feel like it tonight, ok Tony?" Tim snapped back, sounding indistinctly irate.

The miraculous moment that they had just witnessed had strangely stifled his cheerful attitude with melancholy shadow.

"McGee. Going home and drinking with the company of online fairies isn't healthy. You really should get that checked into," Tony taunted, a daring spark in his eye tempting Tim to defy his mockery.

"Its better than going home and drinking to the company of countless movies you have already seen a hundred times," Tim countered, unable to resist with a coy smile.

"Very excellent point, McGee," Ziva tossed in with an approving smirk.

Tony's lip curled at the jab, but he recovered quickly.

"That's beside the point because that isn't what I'm doing tonight. I am going out for drinks with Ziva. Something that you should participate in," Tony replied coolly, returning to the point of the argument.

"Tony, you already have my answer," Tim retorted, visibly not in the mood to partake in a dispute.

"Fine, McKillJoy. Tell the online dragons hi for me," Tony said sulkily, accepting defeat. With that he sauntered over to the elevator, sparingly casting a curious glance over his shoulder at Tim as he went.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us, McGee? I promise I will use all methods to keep DiNozzo quiet, I have my knives with me after all," Ziva said devilishly, "And I always enjoy your company," she added warmly.

"Thanks Ziva, but just not tonight. Next time, ok?" Tim replied with what he assumed was a thoroughly convincing smile.

Her piercing brown eyes studied him for a moment with an empathetic gaze as if she could perceive the chaos hidden in his mind.

"Good night then, McGee," Ziva said quietly, patting his cheek affectionately before turning and joining Tony in the elevator.

Tim permitted a prolonged sigh to be set free from his lips. He had lied to them, and they knew it. Tim glanced over at the clock; it read 9:07. If anything, this fact merely deepened his dejection. He had intended on going home to his lonesome apartment, and do nothing but clamber into his bed and fall into a more than likely intermittent sleep. No man his age went to bed at this time on a Friday night! He felt like an old man…a derelict, forlorn old man who had no one to go home to. This, he knew, was the stem of his gloominess.

How his life was now differed slightly compared to the expectation Tim had formed when he was younger. He had anticipated working arduously extensive hours, just as he did now, slaving over cases, and dishing out fair punishment and honest justice to a world that was in desperate need of it. But then he had always envisioned himself at the end of the day walking out to his car, her bouncing by his side, ponytails swaying gaily, her arm linked contentedly through his as they ventured home…their home. This particular detail, though, had never come to be.

Tim rested his chin comfortably on his palms his unblinking eyes watering as he absently stared at the lambent light on his desk. He chuckled ruefully; Abby and him married…It was a ludicrous, yet undeniably tempting fantasy. But maybe if things had been done differently…if rule 12 didn't exist, if he hadn't pushed Abby all those years ago, if…if…there were to many painful ifs.

"I like your deep in thought face, McGee. Its cute," Abby's cheerful voice slashed through his thoughts like a dagger.

Despite his regretful reflections, Tim couldn't help but smile at the jovial tenor sound of her voice.

"Hey, I thought you would have gone home by now, Abs," He said, curious.

"I should say the same to you," Abby replied impishly, perching herself on the edge of his desk.

"So, whatcha thinking about?" She added, swinging her legs blithely.

"Ah, nothing Abs," Tim answered nonchalantly.

"No, no, no, something was causing that adorable expression of yours. "Nothing" doesn't cut it, Timmy," Abby retorted playfully, kicking his chair with her platform boot.

"I was just…thinking about the husband and wife we reunited today," Tim replied thoughtfully, looking up at her.

"Yeah, it was sweet wasn't it?" Abby said, a wistful tone to her voice.

"Yeah…it was…" Tim murmured quietly, his eyes focusing vacantly on the lamp once more.

"You're doing it again!" Abby exclaimed, her voice brimming with accusation.

"Doing what?" Tim asked uncertainly, raising his eyebrows.

"Your concentration face, McGee! It means you're not paying attention," Abby explained irritably, her eyes narrowing ominously.

"Oh, sorry," Tim apologized quickly.

Abby's emerald eyes were trained directly at him, analyzing. Her entire, face, Tim couldn't help but notice, was contorted in a captivatingly cute look of observation.

"Now look whose making the concentration face," He inserted good-naturedly, and Abby's expression immediately morphed into an endearing pout.

"McGee! Don't use my own words against me!" Abby reprimanded.

"Won't happen again, Abs," Tim promised, grinning slightly.

"Better not," Abby growled, her pout transforming into a lopsided smile.

"So, what are you really thinking about?" Abby asked, gazing curiously at him.

"I already told you," Tim answered considerably faster than what would be deemed a normal speed.

"If that was what you were really thinking about, then you wouldn't be wearing your concentration face again. You shouldn't lie to me Timmy, we both know it won't end well," Abby replied lightly, looking intently at him.

"I was just thinking how things would if-" Tim started, contemplating his words carefully. He'd rather she didn't know what he was thinking but knowing Abby, telling her was inevitable, "if it was different here. At NCIS."

"Different how?" Abby prodded, looking quite intrigued.

"Different…like if I had made different choices,"

"What kind of different choices?"

"I don't know, different choices with you know, the team, my profession," He licked his lips nervously, "me and you,"

"How would me and you be different?" Abby wondered curiously, a spark of hope in her eyes, though there was an allusion of reserved caution in her tone.

Tim scowled inwardly. Of course she'd highlight on that.

"We just…would be, I guess," Tim remarked quietly. He looked up to observe her reaction and saw that her face had turned uncharacteristically grave. He gave himself a mental Gibbs-slap for telling her any of this.

"Abby, I-" But the moment Tim had gotten to his feet Abby had burrowed herself into his chest, her arms constricting around his torso.

"McGee, we messed up, didn't we?" Abby confessed into his shoulder.

Tim had no answer, so he simply held her, grimacing as he felt his heart spilling painfully for her as it had so many times before.

"We didn't mess up, Abs. We just- took a different path, that's all," Tim whispered softly into her coal black hair. He pulled back gently from the embrace.

"The one thing we can do now," He said, cupping her cheek affectionately in his hand, "Is make better choices as we go along,"

Abby gazed intently into his dark teal eyes, absorbing his words.

"I want to make better choices this time, McGee," Abby stated resolutely.

"That's my girl," Tim replied contentedly; he then leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to the corner of her lips. A little too close to be considered a friendship kiss, but not close enough to be thought of as romantic. It was in the middle, like it always was.

Abby's face broke into a vibrant smile, her eyes luminous with vivaciousness.

"You know what my first good choice is going to be?" Abby asked mischievously, smiling impishly up at him.

"What's that?"

"An all night-movie night, with you. Right. Now." Abby replied, emphasizing the last words by poking him in the chest.

"Sounds fair to me," Tim agreed happily, suddenly pleased with how his Friday night would be turning out.

"Come on, let's go!" Abby urged, linking her arm ecstatically through his and dragging him to the elevator, "Its movie night at the McGee residence!"

"We'll have to stop for a few Caf-Pows on the way, and maybe some chocolate bars, and you do have popcorn right? Of course you do, what who doesn't! Then of course we'll have to watch…"

McGee grinned elatedly as he listened to her ramble. They were walking arm in arm to his car. Her ponytails were swaying wildly. They were going home to his home. It was a step and a choice closer to what he'd always dreamed of.

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><p><strong>Hehehe wasn't it so cute and furry and adorable? TELL ME!<strong> **WAS IT CUTE FURRY AND ADORABLE?** **_*cough* _sorry, again writing this at 1am**


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